New York, New York

I've had only one mental block in the last couple of years - going to NYC to learn dance.

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Over 5 years ago I found out about a summer dance program at BLADE - the 1st Hip Hop Conservatory in the world. It was dirty cheap at the time (USD was veeery low and the program was only about 750$ for 8 weeks of classes) but I was younger and scared I wouldn't be able to find a decent room to rent, that I wouldn't have enough cash, that I wouldn't make it. My mind wasn't as open and my heart wasn't as experienced. Or the other way around.

Both the mind and the heart started changing and yet still, I never went. After a while I abandoned the idea of BLADE and moved on to BDC - Broadway Dance Center - because of Luam and her choreos, which I used to watch like crazy about 3-4 years back. They run some short-term dance programs, which are unfortunately a lot more expensive than the BLADE one was, but I was still dreaming of going. Then I stopped dreaming and started gearing up (gearing up = saving every penny), so I could afford to go and learn there for 3 months.

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It was a couple of months after a pretty serious knee injury I had that I went to see Step Up 2 with Paula. By that time I have already given up on dance as a career or anything I could be living off and was planning to visit Marianka, my best friend at the time, who was studying in Indonesia, possibly travel around SEA later . 

I exactly remember how we were in the middle of the movie and I found myself with tears in my eyes. 

Because the routines and dance skills were leaving me speachless.
Because I could only imagine how much hard work it took to get to where they were.

Because I never focused on dance and never really made it a priority.

Because Poland has close to no streetdance culture and I was thousands of miles away from where it was all hapenning.

Because I would never learn from those dancers.

And at that moment I had made up my mind - if I could afford to go bum around SEA, I could definitely afford to go make my dream come true in NYC. I was going to be waiting tables if I had to, but I'd make it. That was in July 2010.

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In August, I had a crazy week during which I alowed myself to be crazy in ways I never had, which in turn saw me deciding on flying to Indonesia anyways (I figured I'd come back after a couple of weeks and work my ass off in Warsaw making up for the money I'd spend) and doing so later in September. On the very same day I came back on my flight from London (was flying thru Kuala Lumpur into London and then to Łódź), so the last day of October, I was reassuring my parents that I'd be staying in Warsaw till April '11, as that's when I was planning on starting my program. And I kept reassuring them and all my friends until exactly a week later, when on a random Sunday evening I met NJ. NJ, my future boss in India.

Going to India didn't have to mean I had to cancel NYC. Actually, ever since it felt as if India was really going to happen (so I guess 3 hours into the 4 hour conversation we had on the night we met), I kept on saying how I had to be free by April. And so it was agreed - I go to intern till March, come back home to repack and set off to Danceland.

Somehow though my plans have changed and already on my flight back to Vienna (was flying Bombay - Vienna and then taking a train to Warsaw) I knew where I had to go next - I was physically missing the South of Spain. BDC programs start every quarter, so it didn't actually have to be April (although I wanted to go there at that specific time, so I would experience the annual NYC dance parade they hold in May). Thus, I decided I could do it after I come back from Spain. That was March 2011.

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Upon coming back from Spain I got offered a job, which seemed like a huge opportunity, so I decided to take it. As you can probably imagine: a) things weren't as peachy b) dancing in NYC kinda got lost along the way.

Ever since those 5 years ago NYC has somehow grown into this huge block in my head. I'll have you know I don't consider myself a coward but the truth is, every time I was ready to go there, I'd chicken out. Of course, I wouldn't call it chickening out, as I always had some "excuse" to postpone the trip but that's what it comes down to.

Not any more.

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Olgierd happened and then "enough is enough" happened.

"I can do it" also happened.

And then, within two weeks of making up my mind I had managed to arrange for a place to stay, find a source of funding and book a cheap flight.

Two weeks was all it took to conquer what I had been running away from for 5 years.

Scary isn't it?

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Get ready New York City and its dance schools - I'm coming to get you!