Monday, November 22, 2010

Luck and expectations in life

I've said it more than once and it has also been noticed by others on numerous occasions - I'm one lucky gal.

Granted, I've had my ups and downs, hit a couple of bottoms (not that deep, fortunately!) but also got to see some pretty amazing things from up above (the last one being sunrise from the summit of Rinjani). However, I've always somehow gotten to be in the right place at the right time, meet just the person I needed or say that one little thing which would make everything work out.

The last couple of months have been a crazy period in my life, seeing my graduation, attitude alterations, first backpacking trip thousands of miles away from home, expectations met, expectations crushed, amazing people (and not so many not amazing ones) along the way. Whatever my view on an exeprience while it was in course, the effect has always been somewhat positive. Or maybe that's just thanks to the beforementioned attitude alterations.

The luck I'd had during my whole univeristy career ran out the day of my thesis defence. By luck meaning somehow passing all the exams, with not too bad a note most of the time, without almost any work at all. By the running out part - getting a question I had no idea how to answer during the last exam ever. But I think that's not bad for 3 years of studying, am I right or am I right?
But honestly, that's the only so-called meaningful occasion I recall that my lucky star wasn't guiding the way.
As to the positive coincidences, lucky situations and fruitful random meetings? Tons.

Starting with all the little things that make your everyday life pleasant, like making it for the bus there was no way of making it for or getting two drinks in price of one during the happy hour they somehow don't advertise anywhere, to all those little things that seem to save your life in extraordinary times. Like someone finding a pair of clean, warm socks in your base camp during a three-day volcano trek that you weren't prepared for at all, having the total of one pair of constantly wet and dirty ankle-length socks you had on you, to doing the island hopping somewhere in the middle of Indonesia, having no place to stay upon arrival to your destination and meeting three lovely girls you'd previously chatted with a week beforehand on one of the small, almost deserted islands, and together managing to rent out a nice clean room in a cool homestay you wouldn't want to pay for if you were there by yourself, to later going out with one of those girls so that you can steal her clothes in a club to take part in a dance contest (that you happen to win some $ in). Not to mention getting to know all those great people and hosts (a huge CS fan!) who make your trip all the more worthwhile.

Why all this talk here?
Because my going to India is nothing more but another 'lucky' thing. I wasn't looking for a job  and I happened to stumble across a possibly perfect one. One, which could be the beginning point of a very satisfying career. Which I wasn't meaning to start at the moment, either.

And here comes the second part - expectations. Should we have, feed or try to escape them?
I do generally trust my gut feeling and instincts but I have been known to make some mistakes. The last one before a trip I came back from three weeks ago.
The thing is, I tend to trust people too much, to the point of naïvety. And naive I was, thinking that things would just magically work out without much talk or thought. It was so not the case. In the end, the whole trip turned out to be amazing, but definitely not thanks to the circumstances I'd previewed.

As much as I don't want to think about the internship too much, I can't escape the results of all the commotion that had been taking place in my head just a few days ago. And by results I mean the E-word.
I mean, they do cause you trouble, right?
You sit in the comfort of your own room, imagining, and what is more important - convincing yourself, what things will be like. All the wonderful things you'll see, the opportunities you'll be presented with, the people you'll have a blast with. It is fine, to a certain point, as that's what mainly drives us - the promise of a dream come true. However, if, upon arrival, the reality doesn't fit the frames you'd so meticulously prepared, you're dissapointed. The views might still be beautiful but you won't care for them much, as the weather's not as perfect as you'd want it to be. The food might be delicious, the people around you friendly and most welcoming, but you'll be down because the one person you want to be this way, isn't so.
If you're lucky enough, you'll realise that thanks to that cold and rainy weather during your hike, you've proven to yourself just how hardy you are. That because your travel companion isn't good company, you meet people whom you befriend and find comfort in. But there always is that moment of pain, of emotional distress, when regret enters your thoughts.

At the same time, if only you'd figured out a way to NOT have expectations. You couldn't help but be happy. You would take life as it comes and accept everything that's being thrown your way. You'd know  - this is how it IS, so this is exactly how it SHOULD be. Afterall, if it shouldn't be like this - it simply wouldn't.

So that's exactly one of the goals - approach everything with a clear and open mind. Try to escape frames and check lists, make those up as I go. That way you can't go wrong - they will always be a perfect match.

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