Friday, February 11, 2011

A storm's coming my way

I think I've reached a point where I'm bored with all that jazz.

The last couple of  nights have been a bit more quiet than before - Sunday night at Zezni's Salsa night and then a house party with Z, Monday business-like drinks in my beloved Indigo (good Green Apple Splash folks!), Tuesday a nice Small World meeting in Aer (33rd floor of Four Seasons, sweet panorama of the city), good biryani and durum (yes, there's a place in Mcity where I can eat a durum!!!) with S&Z followed by some cool hip hop beats at Zenzi. Wednesday began with lunch in Indigo, a loong nap that kinda threw me off and then the evening at WTF, followed by Firangi Pani (like 10mins away from my place and some good music!) and my saying no to partying on. The guys ended some good couple of hours later. Yesterday was supposed to be a movie night, but they've printed out the wrong screening time in the papers so we were late for the beginning of the movie. We headed to Temple Flower for some good Chinese style rice and then went for P's little get together in T.G.I. for a mini 'pre-launch' party (he's publishing a book based on 'My brother Nikhil', which he produced as well). I was told there was going to be a latino night at Balthazar so dragged S out of T.G.I. to arrive there and see that they were having some small bday party and actually there was no party to speak of. I said hi to a couple of people and wanted to leave but then S, the guy managing the place, started the whole 'oh, but you must start the party girl!' talk and being the goodhearted person that I am, I gave in. I did my best but the crowd just wasn't willing, so I left a bit after 1 am.

And it's all fine, it's just that I've been a bit of a shell of a person since Saturday. I talk and laugh and dance, but my heart's somehow not there. Plus, have not been feeling that well physically lately.

It's definitely time for a change - something's building up inside of me, but I can't really put it into words just yet. Or maybe it's exactly the feelings related to the up-coming change that are already beginning to surface? Afterall, my Indian adventure ends in a little more than 3 weeks..

Have also been thinking lately, which is never a good thing if you ask me.
Wondering about friendship and why I call people my friends. Wondering why most of the people I call friends are not actively present in my life.
Wondering about my place in the world and if I have one. Don't feel attached anywhere which is as much of a good, as of a bad thing.
Wondering what my aim is, if I have one, if I need one, if I can pin one down.
Wondering about the choices I've made and why I've made them.
Wondering about relationships. No, don't let me even go there.
Just wondering you know.

9 komentarze:

Jim said...

I am very familiar with the questions you're asking yourself at the moment.

Don't be afraid to think - sometimes it's a good idea! Hugz :)

Jakub Kopczyk said...

There's a vital difference between friend and someone you know, or przyjciel and znajomy if you will.
From my experience it's hard to achieve more then 2 or 3 friends at a time, so as long as you find those I think you'll be all right :) .
And remember the old Aztec saying "You'll be my friend forever - you know too much!" :D .

Magu said...

Well, in English it's hard to make the distinction. I meant people we refer to as 'przyjaciel', so a BFF, if you will..

And it's not the number that makes me wonder. It's the sole idea of having a person's image as a BFF, but the person behind that image somehow doesn't seem to play any role in the real life.

But then how would you define a friend, and would you at all?
Is the 'friend factor' the fact that the person knows you inside out, the fact that you share your everyday lives or maybe again, the fact that even if you very rarely talk they'll be there for you if you need help?

Or maybe they're all good friends, different types of friends that compliment each other and make your life full of affection and emotion..

And looking for or expecting one person to be all that is just too much?..

Manu's Musings said...

Maggie! Don't worry....there's always a time - and unfortunately, this happens more than once - in life, when something inside makes us pull back, and look at what we're doing, and where we're going. When even in a crowd, you feel alone. When the same things that brought you joy, suddenly have no effect.

Sit back. Reflect. These times are nature's way of telling you that you need a break - from whatever you're doing. That it's time to explore another part of your personality. That there is more to you than you see, and definitely more than what others see.

As for friends, experience is that friends - real friends - are very few. Doesn't matter what you call your friends - BFF, bestest friend, soul twin - time is the only thing that sorts them out.

And listen to time. When it points out a friend..stick to him/her...they're worth it :)

The "real" friends will keep coming around - all your life. The 'best' friend of today may not be that don't lose sight of the friend who's been there...always. :)

Live life...and smile. That always makes everything so much easier!

See you when I see u ...

Anna said...

Yeah, it really is so, as people say, that there is a time in life (or a few such moments to be exact) when you just need to step back from your routines and look at your life from the other perspective. Friends, love, reasons of certain actions, purpose of life, our place in the world - it all needs redefining from time to time and only the other perspective can show you what they really are. Maybe the best way really is to sit alone and take as much time as one needs and just wait for the answer to come. There will be one sentence, one thought, one person that would be a sign what direction to choose now. And it's just about noticing it when it appears...

Magu said...

Have mostly been thinking about the friendship bit, not that much about everything else..

Well no, that's not entirely true. Had a very interesting converstaion today, two actually, where we talked about relationships nowadays. And how they are formed, what comes first and what we feel should come first. And what I feel should come first usually doesn't.

Jakub Kopczyk said...

The whole package in my opinion it's hard to come by. Usually it's almost impossible to find one friend that would fulfill all the roles you need, and if they do - marry them! Whatever the race, sex or age, just do it :) .

And as of friends, well they come and go, they have their lives, jobs, problems, they won't always make changes to satisfy the both of you. Different choices, different path - but who knows when will they cross again?

Just don't burn any bridges, it's always easier to defrost the old bound then to build a new one :) .

Go Magu!

Magu said...

Burning bridges is not my thing :)

Yes, I know everyone has their own life and I don't expect anyone to be making changes for my sake. But sharing your lives with each other, those jobs and problems, is what I think a big part of friendship is all about.

gaurav said...

people above said lovely things There is nothing more that I can advice but just give time to yourself relax go to place where you can be away frm crowd and if you can afford go do some social work in lovely himalayas you will love the peace and people over there ( Leh can be a good place)